


Misfortune

by tocasia



Series: Our Shining Past [47]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: AU, Gen, Mistaken Identity, Sense materia, Sephiroth and Zack friendship, Shinra Inc Repair Division!!, Silly, bad day, brought to you by uncooperative in-game targeting, inspired by real life action movies, may contain traces of collateral damage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14620107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocasia/pseuds/tocasia
Summary: The mildly unlucky chase scene.(12. misfortune) for Seph&Zack Friendship 100 Themes





	Misfortune

Elena winced at the sequence of high-pitched beeps and readjusted her headphone volume. "The Sense materia's reacting to something in Sector 3 sir!"

Tseng spoke into the comm, "All agents, keep your distance. Do not engage. Elena, see if you can get a visual on the target."

"Yes sir."

The police description had them looking for a male suspect of medium height and medium build, rocking a riotous blond mohawk that outside of Midgar probably would've already led to his capture. It shouldn't be a Turk job, but he'd put a couple of cops in the hospital, and that was bad for Mayor Domino's re-election campaign.

"No good sir. The instruments aren't responding." Hopefully Tseng wouldn't think it was her fault....

"We've still got coordinates, though?"

The monitor stayed stubbornly blank. Elena gave it a whack. It flickered back to life. "Yes sir." She keyed in the commands to overlay the target's position on the 3D model of Midgar.

"How is he evading the MPs and our snipers so easily? He shouldn't be able to detect them...."

Her boss was always so calm and collected! She'd be like that one day!

"No reports of property damage, either... we haven't lost any operatives... it doesn't match his previous behavior...."

"He's moving pretty fast, sir."

"Maybe he isn't working alone...."

* * *

It's not like he'd stolen it or anything! He'd won it fair and square at the Gold Saucer crane game.

Zack clutched the black and white plush cat to his chest, careful of its sharpened golden crown. Not-quite-touching the slightly damp decorative brickwork, he risked a quick glance around the corner....

Morning rush hour. Impatient people honked their horns.

Behind him, a blurred bunch of blue uniforms.

There was less traffic in the bike lane.

He bounded past a roadkilled... uh, Hedgehog Pie... in a gutter.

Let's see... he didn't owe anyone money, right? Nope! Although, he might have forgotten.... And he hadn't crossed any lines recently. At least, Seph hadn't _seemed_ mad that he'd duct taped the office supplies to the ceiling, and Zack was pretty good at reading him by now.

Intersection of Courthouse Drive and Fifth Street. Was there actually a courthouse there? Maybe it had historic memorial cannons in front, or some kinda sculpture garden substitute.

Sidewalk again. Don't step on the cracks.

This had 'mistake' written all over it. He _couldn't_ be the intended target. If Shinra wanted to capture a SOLDIER, even a Third, they'd send someone else. Still, it'd be really stupid to stop and say, "Hey guys! Looking for me?"

That siren was six blocks distant; he could probably ignore it.

He vacated the shadow of a dumpster.

There was _no way_ the MPs could take him in a fight. Not a threat on their own, but... if they had orders to herd him somewhere....

His free hand strayed to the Buster Sword's hilt. No. Not unless he had to.

Looming on his left, the cavernous entrance to a parking garage was guarded by a yellow clearance bar marked 8'4". Inside dwelt rows and rows of empty spaces, and not just the 'Staff Parking Only' ones.

Obvious trap, keep moving.

Huh. 'AVLNCHE'. Cool vanity plate.

Zack ducked, and the sniper's shot spiderwebbed the windshield.

The _Turks_ were involved? Shit.

He broke line of sight, dodging a rogue cyclist wearing a jacket with a reflective strip.

He had to remember. He was in control here. _They_ were chasing _him_. Or maybe the cat. But he wasn't going to drop the cat.

The bright orange clash of spraypaint caught his eye.

**ROAD WORK AHEAD  
Speed Checked By Detection Devices**

Time to go vertical? Yeah. Any convenient rooftop restaurants? Too messy. He wanted to _minimize_ collateral damage. No, not up, that'd expose him to the helicopters. Down then.

On the side street, asphalt rattled, ground to gravel. Resurfacing in all its loudness. That meant....

Avoiding glops of stinking, steaming tar, Zack dashed to the temporarily prominent manhole cover.

He pulled at it.

He lifted it up....

Yikes!

Attached to the camouflaged cover of its burrow, the monster dangled by a muscular arm. Slitted yellow eyes glared at him from its vaguely demonic red-skinned, black-horned head. Ivory claws tore at his uniform in self-defense. He put it back.

A sharp vvrreeeeeeee, like from a keening buzzsaw, pierced the air.

Adrenaline kicked in for real. He knew that sound.

His best chance was.... Zack barged into the antique store, dove under the window, and lay flat. The high beams of the Guard Scorpion's search scope went wide as it tromped on down the street punching epic potholes in the pavement. He didn't hear any crushed cars or screaming civilians. Scarlet must've improved the pathing algorithm.

The thrill of being hunted made normally unnoticed details vibrant. Like a tiny hole in the wall where someone had hung a picture and then decided it should go somewhere else. And the finely-speckled wood grain of the cabinet displaying expensive old glass perfume bottles, with a pattern that indicated it'd been made in Gongaga, probably before he was born. Rude appreciated antiques. If this place survived, Zack'd tell him about it.

He couldn't stay here.

Hopefully, Seph was having a better day than he was.

* * *

Sephiroth stared at the heap of towels on the floor.

Did Jenova know anything about plumbing?

...not in so many words. The way she suggested that he turn the water off was a little extreme.

He searched his out-of-date company directory for the number for Shinra, Inc. Repair Division!! (the two exclamation points were part of the trademark).

This was going to take all day.

* * *

The station wasn't the safe haven he'd banked on.

Zack thrust an arm between the train's sliding doors and pushed inside. The sudden acceleration sent him flailing for support, almost colliding with the passenger next to him. Wait, no... that guy bumped into him on purpose, and was reaching for the cat! Zack caught the wanna-be pickpocket's wrist too hard, felt the bone yield like foam in his grip, and knew it for the kind of accident Seph would call a coincidence. No time for guilt. He cast Silence before the scream, and shoved a path to the next car.

People were gonna panic anyway; Zack kicked open the emergency exit and leapt.

Nice roll! He was uninjured, his awesome prize's black and white coat unsmudged.

Now what? He needed a plan....

Without the train to drown it out, the persistent echo of clicking metal joints and excessive scan beams grew louder. Closer.

Zack groaned. It was becoming more and more tempting to accept being charged with destruction of company property.

_wark wark wark kupo~_

_wark wark wark kupo~_

Damn! That was the ringtone he'd assigned to.... Look, it had been hilarious at the time, okay?

"Hey Seph."

"Do you have the number for 'Shinra, Inc. Repair Division!!'?" Sephiroth asked.

"Do you know why I'm being chased by a Guard Scorpion?" Zack shot back.

"No." Sephiroth sounded appropriately surprised. Phew!

"Then I'll get you the number as soon as I can. But I gotta run, so..."

"In that case, don't worry about it. Good luck with your escape. Make the report exciting."

"No problem."

* * *

Another satisfied customer! Business was blooming today. Pretending to tie a bootlace, Aeris stashed the gil in her sock.

Oh, was that...? Yep! Her Great Hero Zack zoomed by, tripped, turned it into a flip, stuck the landing, caught the phone he'd nearly fumbled, and vanished into the crowd, followed a moment later by the stampeding tread of security forces everywhere... at least in the movies they watched together. She smiled. Whatever he'd done, they couldn't possibly catch him.

* * *

"Are we sure we've got the right guy? This is seriously weird." Elena said.

Tseng agreed. "I've never seen anything like it, except...."

Except SOLDIER? If that was true, this mission was way outta their league. "I'll check the targeting again." She was 97% sure she hadn't screwed up. Using Sense materia at long range was still experimental.

Oh no! When had Reeve re-calibrated the system? Him and his stupid personal projects!

"What is it, Elena?"

"We've been tracking a cat, sir."

"A cat...?"

"Well, not just that. We've been tracking Lieutenant General Fair carrying... a robotic cat."

"Call off all agents! Get Reeve on the phone. Maybe he can use it to send a message to tell Fair he's in the clear."

"Sir, you're going to admit to the mistake?"

"We won't waste time on apologies, but we need our resources in the right place as soon as possible. It's no shame we couldn't catch Fair. If we need an excuse, call it an extra training exercise for him, especially if he did something to piss off the General lately. But don't tell _anyone_ I said that. I mean it, Elena."

"Yes sir."

The map projection flickered feebly. Drat. She'd have to work overtime to fix it.

"Target has taken refuge in General Sephiroth's office. Contact lost."

* * *

That afternoon, plumbing situation heroically resolved....

"Lieutenant General Fair!"

Zack appeared with his usual alacrity. "Yessir!"

"What is this on my desk?"

"An unlucky spy cat seeking asylum."

Sephiroth blinked twice, shrugged, decided he wasn't ready for the full story yet, and waved his strangely victorious second-in-command away so that maybe he could go back to signing his name on comfortingly pointless things.

There was a crash across the hall, by the stairs. A Guard Scorpion-sized crash. Zack paled.

"Zack, when you said..."

"We gotta get out of here!"

'We'? Not exactly. But... he _did_ have this folder to deliver to Heidegger.... Heh. "Follow me."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my brother for playing Tetris, and for reminding me of the chase scene tropes where our hero gets accosted by a street vendor and that something frequently happens with manhole covers.


End file.
